Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you
have gained.
Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after
you are run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with
Yiddish expressions.
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat
stomach.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.