I have come to the point where I see myself not “fitting in” perfectly in any one community.
I am not a socialist, which rules out my support for a left-wing organization like ULT. Labor rights, government regulations, etc. aren’t my cup of tea since I’ve learned enough about economics and have payed taxes long enough to know that such a model doesn’t work.
I am also not crazy about women’s learning and leadership; I am starting to see that many of these attitudes animating the “Maharat” movement are those apolitical and social forces which animated similar movements in the broader society, whether in the churches or in non-Orthodox synagogues. Plus, many of my mentors and teachers left the Conservative movement over the very same issue of women’s leadership that the LWMO have begun to embrace wholeheartedly, perhaps precisely for the desire to be “progressive.” Halakhic arguments can be made in favor of these innovations, but whether they reflect a step in the proper direction socially is another question entirely, since we must resist all attempts for women to be made honorary men. Learned women in history, such as Nehama Leibowitz, the author of Livyat Hen, and the rebbetzins of R’ Joffen, R’ Hutner, and R’ Bleich (all accomplished PhD-holding scholars in the world of academic Jewish Studies never sought kavod for themselves. I also find women having aliyot to be uncomfortable; if I reject feminism when I vote, certainly I should reject the same attitudes in religious matters.
My embrace of the universalism and humanism of the Rambam, Rav Hirsch, and others. academic approaches, a concern for ethics, a favorable approach to higher education (although l’maaseh, “Torah u’Maddah” doesn’t work in a money-driven world like ours; Torah u’Parnassah makes more practical sense, since we have to support ourselves and can’t all get tenure as humanities professors or go begging like Socrates did), and an approach to giyur that is more user-friendly and open to zera yisrael is rooted in classical Judaism, not bound by particular movements nowadays.
Embracing the historical approaches of Western Sephardim, Rav Uziel, German Orthodoxy, Rationalism, etc. is not bound to what particular yeshivot are doing.
I see my tafkid to simply seek knowledge, make a good living, and be a shomer torah u’mitzvot and give my kids a good Jewish education.