Artiste -“This is really worrying and I’m not sure if to go into the shidduch. What should I do?”
Your question intrigued me from a medical point of view. So I dusted off my Ob/Gyn book and took a look.
This is my answer: I don’t even think that if you asked the Ob/Gyn of these women (if they even have the same one) how much risk it is for this girl to be infertile that he/she could give a definitive answer. The only definitive answer would be a work-up on this girl. The girl would never agree to this.
So what can you do? Well, IMHO, most Frum people live in their own little utopia. They think it’s normal to have 10-15 kids biologically and not normal if you can’t. The reality is at every age there is a certain percentage of women who are infertile. The percentage just increases with age until the golden age. (This is another Pet Peeve of mine. S/o suggested asking their Doc. A lot of people expect their Docs to be Neevim and they get angry when they say “I don’t know”. This in turn pressures the Med practitioner to lie. I obviously don’t agree with this, but it works. The most popular Docs that I’ve seen, esp. in the Frum community, a lot of them have almost never said a true word out of their mouth.)
I never heard of any Rov requiring testing before marriage. So all this hereditary business does is possibly up the percentage a bit. Is this enough not to consider marriage to this person? This is something that you’d have to ask your Rov. I know what I’d answer to this question and probably most people – that in No way can you throw out the Shidduch because of this.