However the development of love between spouses as a process of work, he has said many times, is a very important concept, though not the most important thing, which is developing a partnership to serve Hashem, ideally bolstered by a strong, true, and enduring love between the spouses.
Mod-80, that is the ideal marriage.
However, factually there all kinds of people out there that don’t live according to the ideal way.
Some men? ALL men.and I mean GOOD. Period
A large part of Chassidishe men weren’t educated by their mothers and still believe in “beauty is in the eye of the beholder”.
Depending on where one lives, there are a lot of dowdy Chassidishe women with happy husbands (not saying in all cases, but in general it’s like that).
You’re not married more than a year or two, are you?
smartcookie, how did you guess? I’m married for one year and two months. Oh, and I forgot, plus an additional 10 years as well, b”H.
You call that spoiled to want more out of life????
Wanting more out of life then Hashem gave you? Yes.
If Hashem commands us to experience joy from our shloshes regalim which come about only three times a year, kal v’chomer that He wants us to be joyful in marriage which is 24/7. Any Jew who believes itherwise, does not know the meaning of the joy of Torah, and will have a tough question to answer when after 120 years Hashem asks why he did not avail himself of the joy in this beautiful world that He created.
Nobody is saying that we shouldn’t try to make our marriages more joyful or loving, for that matter. But reality is that there are some who don’t know how to love a spouse in the way they should.
I take it that you are implying that divorce is actually a good thing because it makes a person free to be able to have a chance at a loving marriage and consequently serve Hashem with joy.
That’s a new twist. Hey, divorce is actually a good thing!
Oomis, I definitely don’t agree with you on this. Can one say that there’s riches in this world and since money gives me happiness (honestly it does, one of the most pleasurable things for me is going shopping for clothing and accessories- not grocery shopping!) and I must aquire it even if it means to ask for charity, otherwise Hashem will ask me why I’ve not partaken from the joyous things in life? Puleeez!