Yehudayona: I believe pressuring men to marry before they are “ready” would just cause broken engagements when they become terrified of the commitment. Of course, we can’t know without running a well-designed study which is ethically questionable.
Thanks, Curiousity.
Medium Size Shadchan:
Let’s talk about our priorities. We are here to serve Hashem and do our best in whatever situation He puts us in. Right now, I’m single and trying to use my time to help others and develop myself so that I’ll be a good Jewess, wife and mother when I marry IYH. This is not a sad situation.
Note: We say “Im Yirtze Hashem”. IF Hashem wishes. Because it’s up to Him and not up to you or me. Like everyone, I sometimes worry about never getting married. But what’s the point of worrying? Does it make me happier? More productive? A more marriageable person?
Now back to tzaros. ??? comes from ????, or a siege. A person with ???? is unable to break out of their current situation, they feel locked in. But if we realize that we can grow whatever the situation, it turns into ????, a window through which we can see the light.
You say that once you get married, all tzaros are normal. I don’t buy that. All tzaros are painful to those who experience them. It’s quite callous, if I may use that word, to say that one tzarah counts more than another.
It’s certainly very sad if we can’t use our bodies for the purposes Hashem made us female; the sanctification of marriage and building the world through children. Chana, mother of Shmuel HaNavi, davened that she should have children for this reason. Rochel Imenu allowed her sister to marry Yaakov even though she realized this may result in her never being able to marry, since the other option was Esav (talk about 50% never marrying!).
Does it really matter if their tzaros were normal?
B”N, I am now taking a 24 hour moratorium on posting on the YWN CR.