OMG.
i just had a 40 minute conversation with a yeshivish-sounding man about my friend. My friend is VERY frum, but is not looking for a full-time learner. After I had expounded on her many maalos, the man asked, “Well, if she is so passionate about Torah, as you describe, then why isn’t she looking for a full-time learner? Wouldn’t you say that somebody who’s working would not be as passionate for Torah as someone in kolel? Unless they don’t have the education of course..”
Well EXCUSE me! I actually disagree!!! (though i give him credit for not asking anything about her outward appearance)
My Rov in seminary told us about the time that he was called about a girl he once taught, and was answering their questions, until they asked “Is she pretty?” Uncomfortable, he answered non-commitedly, “She..looks like a girl..” The caller persisted, undaunted, “What size would you say she is?” To which my now-disgusted Rabbi answered “Excuse me, you must have the wrong number. I am a Rabbi, not a modeling agency.” and promptly hung up the phone.