I feel, having seen this a few times over, that many girls have a very definite idea of the guy they want to marry, and when they go out with a boy they feel there must be some sort of ‘chemistry’ there. What is chemistry??? I finished chemistry when I left school! When I was dating, I had my ‘top-ten’ list (if you haven’t read Dating Secrets, go read it now!) and knew that if I liked the guy and felt I could talk to him easily, that was enough to warrant another date. The third guy I met (my husband) ticked off every single one of my top-ten points (and the book says if you can tick off five then you’re on to a good thing). We dated a total of seven times over ten days before we were engaged. If more girls would have this mentality things would be a lot easier. But a lot of girls I know are waiting for Mr Perfect with sparks in their eyes and feel they have to go out with a guy for at least a few weeks before they even think about is this who they want to marry. That’s not what dating is about! If someone, boy or girl, can get to ten dates and still not feel ready to make a commitment, there is something wrong with the way they are dating.
The Chassidim don’t seem to have a shidduch crisis, and I think that should tell us everything.