Okay, I have a clearer picture now — if I’m “interpreting” this story correctly. Your Rav does not want to push his opinion on you as this is something you really want and you might be resentful if not given another shot at it. And nobody can determine what level you’re on for you because you always have the option of “rising above”.
Many people when faced with such a quandary of indecision decide on what I”ll call “creating a test”. For example you decide that if the first person you approach to help you with another attempt says yes then it’s a go. If not, you drop the issue. Of course you can design another logical “test”, but stick to your guns afterwards. There’s also always the option of “gorel”. The idea is to not be too “pushy” and while not relying on nissim also not trying to be fully in control, which isn’t our job here.
Good luck!