Reply To: "Your not mechuyav to do it altz hishtadlus but you can do it if you want to…"

If you didnt understand what he meant then ask him… Maybe thats why the two of you had a misunderstanding. Never be afraid to say I didn’t understand what you meant. Please explain yourself Thats how u learn.. In my opinion The rav is simply saying in whatever case this is there’s no Halacha stating that you should or shouldn’t .. “If you want to” meaning…-bechirah choose what you want… With finding your zivug there is a certain amount of bechirah… Your hishtadlus is to find your zivug through bechirah.. Your choice will be what level you are on. There is no Halacha about what level of holiness you should be on.. We are in this world to grow and become the best we can be.