Reply To: A third of Litvish families I know, have one or more single daughters 25 and up

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#909211
AZ
Participant

Hello 99: I guess we can disagree. Unfourtanately for you 70 R”Y signed to the statement that age gap is the primary cause of the shidduch crisis as well as to the concept of encouraging close in age shidduchim.

B”H the results of breaking the stigma that had prevented boys from previously dating close to their own age or older seems to most people to be a very positive development. Again you are free to disagree. In addition, having shadchanim focus on girls who didn’t just start dating is something many people think is a positive developement. Once again you are free to disagree on this point as well.

Finally, enabling boys to begin dating when they, their parents and their rebbeim/mentors think is the appropriate time for them. Not a day earlier and not a day later. As opposed to being held back due to a artificial system. Once again many people feel that would be a positive development.

To be clear no one is advocating that boys begin dating a day befroe they are ready, and no one is demanding that girls who want to date and are ready to do so should hold back.

Truth be told i kind’ve don’t see much downside if any or all these concepts where implemented. Hence i’m a big proponent of NASI’s activites.

For sure we can discuss various suggestions for bringing these ideas to fruition

Your point regarding mentoring/rigidty etc. are perhpas very true on the micro level but have limited effect and don’t explain the macro i.e. ther result of far more girls who have dated 10+ years and are still sinhgle to guys who have dated 10+ years and are still single.