one of my posts didn’t go through yet – i don’t know if it was because it was too long or just missed, so i’ll try to shorten it.
here’s the edited version.
Ok. Dr. Pepper, if I understand correctly – it seems to me that you’re saying if guys (and girls) are not wasting their time going out with people that are clearly a waste of time for them, they then can spend more time going out with what they really want and can sooner get married. The sooner they get married, the less possible age-related effect can occur. I agree.
From a psychological standpoint, i also agree with you. In psychology, there are various stages as most of you well know, such as trust vs. mistrust, etc. If a person goes through that stage without gaining what they were supposed to, they still can go back and fix the issue – but it will be much, much harder.
So too, does it seem like this process occurs with shidduchim. i don’t know the exact age range, but it seems that boys and girls in their early 20’s are at the developmental level to get married – to become a one, instead of just a two. Even though it still is difficult, it seems that it is easier to do the process at the right time. If for various reasons, the shidduch did not occur until a later point, it seems like it is much more difficult for both parties. (I know that there are environmental factors that take part also, but i think that those are generally more often the excuse, rather than the cause in and of itself.)
So, in short, I agree that getting people married off sooner, rather than later, is crucial for the most part. (There will always be exceptions).