Dr. P,
I wasn’t familiar with your position, but now that I am (at least more so), I will tell you why I disagree.
Since, as you agree, there is a disparity in the number of girls and boys “on the market”, even if every other issue were solved, there would still be many girls unmarried!
The reason the shadchanim harass the boys is because it’s so hard for some of the girls to get someone to go out with them.
With all of the problems in shidduchim (shadchanim, picky boys, picky girls, money demands, unreasonable parents, etc.), the vast majority of the boys are married within a year or two of starting to look. The major issue is that there are just not enough of them for the amount of girls there are.
Even if you were to argue that many boys are being delayed because of pointless dates (and despite your anecdotes, it’s doubtful that this is really such a major issue, as frustrating as it might be), if the mentality would be to marry someone the same age, any boy who was delayed would marry someone his age anyhow, and not contribute to the age gap problem.