I am 28 any guy that you would consider to marry even if he started to learn after marriage would be working by my age so whats the difference? “
EXCELLENT point. I actually tried to redt a shidduch between a very sweet, good-looking, and aidel guy and a lovley girl who is known to a member of my family. Both parties had been married to other people for a short period of time each, got divorced and then have not married for many years. He looks a GREAT deal younger than his actual age. Why did the shidduch not go anywhere?
Because, though the fellow is very sweet, nice looking, and balabatish, and he has a decent job, at his age of close to forty (he looks half that), he wants to sit and learn after he gets married (again). At thirty-plus, the young lady has no desire for a husband to be in kollel at this stage of her life.
Guys AND girls have to be realistic, even in the kollel circles.