interjection; No I did not contradict myself, though I do see how you think that. I am was referring to the in-laws that love their money so much that they are willing to become unkind and stingy to their own family. While kids don’t deserve money, it shows you how nice the in laws are that they wouldn’t even give a cheap gift.
I understand your point of Ahavas Yisroel. Though I never said that she should hate her in laws. I think she shouldn’t hang around bad people. They should avoid them as much as possible if they would like to raise the kids with normal Jewish values of what family and kindness is.
There’s enough Jews in this world to spend our time loving without having to hate anyone else. You don’t have to spend that precious time loving Jews who will hurt you in return.
Also, in my mind, the farther the distance, the more likely there will be peace. I think that the anger growing inside will eventually erupt into a much greater fiasco if not dealt with right away.