I heard a story about Reb Chaim Shmulevitz, that a boy came to him, and was extolling the virtues of a girl he was seeing, she davens three times a day, etc. Reb Chaim asked, but is she a shainer?
One must be attracted to his spouse. Sometimes it can grow on you after not initially being attracted, but it is still necessary.
As far as this discussion, if a guy is attracted, but is trying to figure out if she is good enough to impress others, (or his mother is doing that) then that is bad midos. But he himself must be attracted.
The good news is that most girls are very attractive, and I personally believe that with enough effort, just about all of them can be stunning. (May need to lose weight, dress better, use better makeup, etc., but in the end they can almost all be supermodels.)