To those of you who have referred to guys who ask for pictures as “stupid, shallow, vain, bums” or whatever other derogatory terms you choose, here’s a couple things you might want to consider before condemning us like that.
1. Not every guy and girl live in the same city, some even live outside of the NY/NJ area (chas v’shalom) and some of those guys and girls are working (chas v’shalom again). So, for some people, just going on one date can be a big expense. Dating is hard enough on it’s own. When you have to spend hundreds of dollars, miss work (although I can’t really say I “miss” it), go through airport security and then you find out that the girl, or guy (apparently now it’s ok to make girls travel for first dates) doesn’t look anything like what you can be attracted to, that, is an unreasonable amount of stress to put on someone. If they saw a picture first, it’s a whole lot easier for everyone.
2. Even when the guy and girl live in the same city, dating is not easy and takes up a lot of time and money. Having to say no to someone after a date b/c of looks, takes just as much toll on a guy/girl as being told no, by the other party (at least it should). Again, if they saw a picture first, it’s a whole lot easier for everyone.
I’m not saying looks are the most important thing, or that you can tell everything about someone from a picture. I am saying that it is an important factor and you can tell from a picture if someone’s looks are not at all what you like. I hate asking for pictures (just asked for one for the first time) and I don’t much like giving out my own picture, but, at least for me, it’s a whole lot better than the alternative.