this thread started out pretty okay – with people understanding what the OP was saying and answering her, sympathetically, but then it changed and left a bad taste in many of the girls’ mouths.
now, changing a thread and philosophizing and telling everyone what kind of figure you prefer may be interesting, but in this thread it’s hurtful. The girl is crying because she’s terrified no one will ever want to marry her because her body is simply not skinny. She is a wonderful girl, has great middos, but she is scared.
now, some guys comfortedly told her that they and not all guys will marry only skinny girls. sure, some or a lot (as you guys claim) prefer thin girls – but so what? why say that here? why be hurtful? she just wants to know if her bashert will like her because of who she is? and the answer is a resounding yes!
and for people to say stupidities like girls don’t realize that people find slim more attractive is foolishness beyond belief. we are being raised in a sick society – that worships externals and the anorexic look. we girls are brought up in that society. i have never met a girl who didn’t want to be slim. for some, it’s not that difficult. for others, due to their body type, metabolism, medication, insulin, etc. they’re taking – it’s very, very difficult to do so – unless they would exercise for hours and have a personal chef to make their meals. that should not be the focus of these wonderful girls. they know already that it’s important to look nice – so they will learn how to put on makeup attractively and wear clothes that are right for them, but to make it sound that a girl has to be so slim to get married, is disgusting and not true.
imagine if a boy wrote in that he was skinny 5’4″, 5’5″ – and he was afraid no girl would want him. would it be kind and sensitive to write that studies show that girls prefer strong, muscular, tall men – whether it’s true or not, it is irrelevant and hurtful! there is nothing he can do about it (sure, he can take steroids and exercise for hours to build himself up, but that is not where a ben torah should be focusing his time.) the point is not to tell him to exercise, but to tell him truthfully that everyone has their bashert, and that the older single boys are made up of all shapes and sizes.
sorry for the rant. 😉