Reply To: Rabbonim and Shalom Bayis Problems

NJ_Mom:

We begin the process with rabbonim because the get should be done first. I don’t know laws in NJ (if that’s the jurisdiction where this couple is), but there might be a get law as in NY. I would much prefer the process of tha agreement/settlement of the affairs (division of assets, children support and visitation/custody, etc.) be done via negotiation or mediation rather than litigating everything in court. Litigation is expensive, costs both parties, and leaves over very little for either party or the children. The role of the rabbi here is not to give advice, but to case manage the process of divorce. It can become the option of the Rav to move the case to the courts if there is resistance to follow beis din. If the decision is to go that way, the Rav must be asked to put the decision (heter arkaos) in writing. If a therapist is needed, seek one.