Reply To: Rabbonim and Shalom Bayis Problems

avhaben:

Sorry, but you are completely wrong. I am quite involved with both therapists and rabbonim, with good, healthy relationships with both. I have dealt with dayanim who have openly stated that certain other rabbonim were damaging to couples. Same goes for chosson or kallah teachers. I have clear, open statements from many rabbonim (well known ones) who bemoan the involvement of the rabbinate to the exclusion of professionals.

My experience with therapists is that the process is one of making shalom. Usually it works, sometimes things have deteriorated beyond repair. With rabbonim, the experience of many cases is quite the opposite. The reason many of the couples who seek rabbinical counseling do not divirce is because they are stopped from it, not because shalom has been restored. That is scary.

So, yes, I have spoken to many rabbonim extensively, and do so regularly. I am relaying what I hear from them. The rosy picture of rabbinical counseling you wish to portray is not so rosy.