Also, to the wolf who chastised himself for inquiring about the welfare of his wife and daughters, may I direct you towards the sfas emes on the mishna in avos (I don’t know if this is a stand alone perush on avos, or it is mentioned in another sefer of his, I’m sure searching the bar ilan CD or whatever these digital otzer hasfarim are called will find you the source) “al tarbeh sicha im haisha” where he explains the difference between the hebrew words sicha and dibbur.
That’s all nice and well, but I’m not talking aobut talking to the people in question (which is where sicha vs. dibbur comes into play), but even asking about their welfare through others. The Shulchan Aruch says very plainly — “Ain Shoalim B’shlom Isha K’lal” — no exceptions. I can’t ask how my mother is doing, my stepmother, my grandmother, my sister, my nieces or my daughter. The SA makes no such distinctions/exceptions to the rule and, in fact, adds the word “K’lal” — which (to me at least) emphasizes the fact that there are no exceptions.
And, since I’m going to continue to do so anyway (since I *do* love these people dearly and I *need* to know what’s going on in their lives and how they’re doing), then I’m clearly a rasha, a deviant and a pervert.
The Wolf