Reply To: saying good shabbos to girls (men)

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WolfishMusings
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wolf: You are frightening. Find yourslf a good psychiatrist asap.

You’re right, of course, but not for the reason you think.

Englishman has, so eloquently, proven the point (via his quote from the Igros Moshe) that one can take a halachic p’sak in a sefer at face value and that, if there are no qualifications and/or exceptions mentioned, the rule should be read as absolute.

I simply took that and applied it to the Shulchan Aruch. It says “Ain Shoalin B’shlom Isha K’lal.” One may not ask about the welfare of a woman at all. Not only are no exceptions mentions, but the word “K’lal” (translated by me as “at all” in this instance) is added. I believe the case could logically be made that there are no exceptions. This includes any woman — including close relatives (i.e. one’s daughter, mother, sister, perhaps even one’s wife).

However, I *want* to know what’s going on in the lives of my close relatives. I *want* to know how my daughter is doing. I want to know what’s going on with my sister, my mother and my grandmother. I *want* to know how my stepmother is doing and how my nieces are faring. However, according to the Shulchan Aruch, such things are strictly forbidden.

Now, there is a term for a person who *wants* to do forbidden things with close relatives. Actually, there are several terms — deviant, pervert, sicko, monster and lecher come to mind. I’m sure there are others that I haven’t thought of at the moment.

However, despite the fact that those terms can be applied to me, I still *want* to ask about the general welfare of these people. I care about them and love them, even if, perhaps, I shouldn’t. I *need* to ask about them and make sure they’re well.

Well, people who feel the *need* to do things that are sick and perverted need to be locked up and seen by a psychiatrist. So, you see, you are correct… but not for the reason you thought.

The Wolf