Bustercrown, forget about him for a moment-How will you deal with this? You might eventually get fed up because you are keeping a deep dark secret which is that you KNOW what he is doing.
The fact that in a marriage both he and you are keeping secrets from each other already affects a marriage for the negative, why? one of the foundations of a marriage is trust=he already broke it because of his addiction.
But, you will become angrier with him each time he lies about what he is doing.
The rav probably did not understand the entire situation maybe you did not tell him how it made you disrespect him in your heart….
But,a big part of marriage is helping each other through the challenges of life-this is a challenge and he fell -he needs to know that you WILL HELP HIM THROUGH THIS and let him know that he broke your trust which is a foundation of marriage
tell him you are shocked that he lied but understand why but now he must work on being honest with you and if he falls, he must feel comfortable telling you and that you will support him-people fall and get up, fall and get up….
Otherwise, if he continues this without knowing you know,you might just get so “eaten up” by his lying, behavior, and disrespect him, get angrier… and want out eventually. What about YOU, YOUR EMOTIONS, IS IT GOOD TO BOTTLE THEM UP? HOW WILL IT AFFECT YOUR MARRIAGE?
It is hard for me to put all that I want to say into words, so I hope you understand this.