Well, if what you mean is, “Do you have to be an arrogant jerk, instead of a kind and pleasant person, in order to 1) find your bashert, 2) make a decent living, and 3) succeed at anything else you care about?”, the answer is no, thank G-d! The Gemara says that when one’s fellow man is pleased with him, so is Hashem. We are supposed to smile at everybody (Pirkei Avos), be extremely humble, and jump at the opportunity to engage in gemilus chasadim. On the other hand, we have to believe in ourselves and be self-assertive when necessary. “A person who wants to provide for those who are dependent upon him must be a person of strength and fortitude, not the opposite. A certain amount of authority and `push’ is required in order to earn money” (Likutei Moharan II, 7:10). In addition, in order to truly come close to Hashem we must “Be bold as a leopard” (Pirkei Avos) and employ a “holy forcefulness and determination” to defeat the “brazen arrogance of the body” and its desires. (Likutei Eitzos, Boldness).
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