I had a chat with a prominent psychologist regarding your thesis. He disagreed with your thesis and has not seen or heard of any evidence supporting it.
The closest idea to your thesis would be based on analytical theory of psychology. It would be that someone who had any particular need as a child that was not fulfilled then as an adult they MAY aggresively pursue that need. For example, if I child never received confirmation and recognition that they are capable of completing a particular task, then as an adult they MAY be obsessed with accomplishing the task and getting recognition from everyone and anyone and ignore others around him.
This is not because they were too busy focusing on “what Hashem wants and needs from us” and are unaware of their own needs.
This is one of many psychological theories and cant be used to explain every case of emotional detachment.