far east, What?? “If your frum lifestyle is not fulfilling then you shouldnt be doing it.” !!?? A Rabbi told you this?!
Not sure what you mean by frum, but if you are referring to Mitzvah observance- putting on tefillin, saying Shma, bentshing after you eat, honoring your parents, teaching your children Torah, the list goes on- 613 long to be precise- then you are 100% wrong.
You were put on this earth to serve your Creator; not to find fulfillment, find happiness, or find a good shidduch. Your Creator has provided you with a detailed guide of how exactly to serve him. You, being a fallible mortal, and not an angel with no yetzer harah, may encounter many difficulties on this path, and may find you have to work hard to accomplish your goal. You will ultimately be judged by the One who made the rules, so you don’t need to worry about what anyone else has to say about your progress or lack thereof. You were not put here to suffer, but you will receive your ultimate reward in the next World. If things seem rough around here that doesn’t excuse you from continuing to strive for perfection, even if you (like almost everybody else who ever tried) never reach it.