Random side note: The comment about the pool reminds me of a thread about whether it is proper for a young couple to buy a new house if it means in the future their kids will have to be on scholarship because of their mortgage while another couple who rented a smaller house/apartment will never be able to get a big house because they “missed the boat” by not getting into financial difficulties earlier.
We live in a generation of entitlement. Every kid is entitled to a Jewish education whether they can afford it or not, every couple is entitled to infertility treatment if they R”L need it, every kollel couple is entitled to expensive life-styles at their in-laws expense.
Everything cost money and there is limited funds within the frum community. Everyone is fighting for each others tzedaka dollars.