Shlishi – “Frum Yidden need to keep a distance from non frum (even family) and goyim.”
And so, the heilige godol has paskened that Rav Noach Weinberg, zt’l and all of his followers; The Lubavitcher Rebbe, zt’l and all his followers; R’ Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, zt’l, and all his followers; R’ Aryeh Levin, zt’l and all who were inspired by him, and many more gedolim, and every single frum Jew involved in kiruv, and every single Baal Tshuva who has not cut off his or her family is transgressing by not keeping “a distance”. Feh.
As for the goyim – Dovid Hamelech and Shlomo Hamelech not only used non Jews in their armies (as did pretty much every king of Yehuda, both those who were considered holy (Asa, Yehoshaphat, CHizkiyahu, etc.) and those who were not. And Shlomo Hamelech even brought non Jews from Chiram Hamelech in Tzor to help build the Beis Hamikdosh. Numerous Rishonim worked closely with and for Non Jewish princes and kings in pre-reconquista Spain.
DO Frum Jews need to maintain their standards of observance wherever they go, YES! even at a BBQ with family, and it is 100% the parent’s responsibility to ensure that. If they can’t or won’t take that responsibility, they shouldn’t go. But they can, and they should. Do frum Jews need to maintain their standards of observance when they go out into the workforce, and encounter non-Jews? YES! and do you know what? when it comes to things like kosher food for meetings or trade shows, my experience has been that non-Jews have been very respectful and incredibly accommodating.
Of course, one would actually have to be out in the workplace earning a living to discover that.
Frum yidden need to understand that HKBH put them here to have a hashpo’oh on other Jews, and on the whole world, not to hide themselves away, squeeze their eyes shut, mumbling “go away, go away, go away!”