There are important points to be discussed here but I think some of us are missing them.
Guys who do not want fat girls are not being judgmental, they are looking for a spouse who they will be attracted to. Is that unreasonable?
Shadchanim who try to set people up who will be compatible based on what the people are looking for are not being judgmental either. Nor are mothers who look for what their son wants. (Although mothers usually look for what they themselves want.)
Saying “it’s whats inside that counts” is not the whole truth. Certainly, what is inside counts, but is that all that counts? Do you believe that physical attraction is unnecessary? Did G-d create physical attraction for no reason?
Oh! and don’t think that issues of anorexia and bulimia are because of this emphasis. Both of these diseases are psychological disorders and happen because of bad parenting. Perhaps they manifest as eating disorders because of the importance people place on being slim, but without that they would simply manifest in other ways.