Reply To: Settling for Less

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mommamia22
Participant

You sound (disappointed), bored and irritated.

The beginning of marriage can be difficult because we often go from a time of tremendous excitement and mystery (like wih a gift) to opening it, getting used to it, becoming bored with it, and then finding it’s flaws (and wishing we had another). Trading it in should only be an option if there’s something seriously defective with it that cannot be fixed with a reasonable amount of effort and help.

Maturity is learning to accept what you have, appreciate it, and maximize it’s purpose.

Being unhappy doesn’t make her flaws egregious.

Maybe what would help isn’t so much therapy, but speaking with older people who have been married longer, successfully, and asking them to help you have perspective. Very often people who have Weathered the difficulties of marital adjustment can give you perspective regarding the true severity of your own concerns.

I also do think therapy would help with the right person.