I can only speak from my own experience, but for me fixing a relationship works best when I admit that I said/did things that weren’t proper.
An older co-worker attacked my character the other week, and, boy, did it hurt! I should’ve kept my mouth CLOSED, but I said something that MAYBE I shouldn’t have (out of frustration because she accused me without having half the details). Realizing, though, that she was simply projecting her own issues on me, I decided to be a big girl and apologize for the lack of Derech Eretz I showed her by answering back.
Do you think she also apologized? Some all-growed-up people are still children, but they don’t have their mommies next to them to tell them, “Say ‘I’m sorry.'”
P.S. She told me that when she speaks harshly to someone, it’s strictly ‘business’ and I shouldn’t take it personally.