Why do you think going OTD is the only way to have excitement and fun in your life?
I think you need to think about what you consider fun and try to fit that into the context of a frum life.
It sounds like you equate being a bas yisrael with being very prim and proper (the opposite of what you perceive as thrilling). Being appropriate and doing things that are thrilling are not mutually exclusive. I think you need to find people who can be good role models for you of being frum and having fun (sometimes thrilling) lives.
You need to find people who are non-judgemental, perhaps people used to dealing with baalei teshuva who’ve heard it all and can guide you properly.