awarenessvaad –
Love does not (primarily) mean a commitment to give. Love is a feeling. As I linked to yungerman on the other thread (maybe no one clicks on links), even the word ahava means this. I don’t believe the Torah’s usage of ahava refers to some altruistic notion, because then it would be absurd to say that Shechem had ahava toward Dinah or Amnon to Tamar. Ahava is Shir HaShirim. It is what we call love, in it’s purest and most basic sense, the thing with all the songs and cliches about it.
Love is a feeling which – like all feelings – can be misused. One can lose their senses when they are angry and say or do the wrong things. Love is the same way. Instead of saying that people shouldn’t fall in love, you should say that people should learn to keep their heads on straight and remain balanced even when they are in love. That, to me, is a lot closer to what the Torah is interested in.
Looking back it seems that you might agree with all this and just have an issue with the phrase “falling in love.” That’s really splitting hairs though. Why not just make your point without going all out against a particular way of speaking? (OneOfMany may have been saying this.) It would be more effective that way.