I don’t see what is wrong with Patri’s question. I volunteered to speak at my cousin’s sheva brachos (yes, even though I’m a girl) and I had to back out because I couldn’t find anything in that week’s parsha that had to do with marriage or my cousin. It’s tough.
Even if it was written in a somewhat funny way doesn’t mean that he has bad middos.
Instead of finding something from the parsha, go and find a generic passuk from something not timebound, like tehillim, or find a gemara that has to do with marriage or the chassan and kallah. Or, if you’re in a rush and there’s a dvar torah in the next week’s parsha you want to do, go ahead, especially for shabbos sheva brachos. I’ve done it on short notice.
If you want an actual dvar torah, I really like the sefer Tallelei Oros.