Have you tried killing him with kindness? Maybe the natural reaction when you feel yourself under attack is to either fight back or to become defensive, but it probably isn’t helping the situation. Try “I know this isn’t how you usually spend the day – we really appreciate the time you spend with us” Ask some questions about his childhood, and what he learned growing up. Practice, rehearse. I have seem parents who truly believe their children are deluded in their new beliefs, but that may be only part of the story. Your father in law may feel that whatever he has been doing is not good enough for you, and he may be on the defensive.
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