I think everyone is getting a little overheated here. Bottom line, cshapiro, Pesach should not make you feel this panicky, but clearly it does. The key to that, when you cannot get cleaning help (and I have rarely had it myself, for financial reasons)is to do PESACH cleaning, not Spring cleaning. It isn’t easy, but it isn’t the torture of Torquemada, either. Our mindset in this is crucial. I made up my mind a long time ago to look at Pesach as a chance to feel like I am moving into a completely new house for eight days. Maybe if you can find something pleasant about the preparations to focus on, rather than the drudgery you dread, you will find it less anxiety-provoking. I do understand.
But – I think TBB means well and I get where she is coming from. I guess we are both of a different generation from that of cshapiro, and that clearly affects how we view the feelings expressed by her. I know that I am reminded of how I felt when I was a young married woman facing my first Pesach (and I was ALSO going to my parents and continued to do so until the last five years of their lives, during which time I had them to come to me instead, for each yom tov). My husband and I always helped my mom to bring in Pesach, cook and serve at all meals, and put Pesach away at the end of yom tov. Then it was our turn to do it all in our own home. Not easy, but not the end of the world, either.
Instead of responding critically to each other, how about some concrete suggestions on how to make this yom tov preparation go more smoothly for all of us?