i’m an oldest and i am more frum than my siblings but not from closeness to my parents. it was a conscience decision to be different than my parents and i made changes (and making changes) to the i live and think so i DONT bring habits and practices from my parents into my home when IY”H i get married.
my father thinks i’m close to him, but in actuality, i don’t hold his opinion as high as he thinks i do. the family dynamics are very complicated but my trust in my parents has been eaten away and chipped off after they lied to me about certain things and breaking promises once too many times.
the reason i’m as frum as i am is because i dont want to be my parents. my father knows i’m frummer than my siblings but he also knows, i gave up trying to influence them. it only causes issues. if he wants to help them, he should do it. i’m going to do what i’m doing for ME only, for my ruchnius and to save my sanity in my messed up family