Logician- “that sounds like making the situation positive, not DEALING with it positively. It’s a problematic situation, but you believe its for the good.”
That’s one way of seeing it. A second way is the following: Since I know that the situation really IS positive, because I know it really is for my good, I’ll be able to deal with it positively instead of being bogged down by seeing it as a problematic situation.
“And again – FOR THE EVENTUAL good. Which does not have to be in this world either. Seeing it as good, is not like “finding the silver lining” – that may help you deal, but its not totally facing the situation. It means its good for me to have this problem – period. Like missing the plane is good – not because it might blow up, but because I’m supposed to be inconvenienced.
That’s the reason I’m making a big deal about the terminology. If the plane will blow up, missing it is GOOD. If nothing like that will happen, then it was BAD. But it is FOR MY GOOD, that this BAD thing happens – because it was for some reason good for me to have some bad in my life.”
Here’s my issue with this: Since we know that everything is, as you said, “for the eventual good”, being in the “bad” situation now is really, in the long run, always good. So, when I miss the plane, even if it doesn’t blow up, it was still GOOD that I missed it, for any number of reasons that I may not see, even in this world (as you said). Of course, that doesn’t take away from the possible frustration of missing the plane. But that is just human nature. All I am saying is that since I know that missing the plane really is for my good, I will understand that it is good for me to miss it. And knowing that will relieve me of my frustration. Now, does that mean that because I’m not being frustrated by it, that I’m doing the wrong thing? And that G-d wants me to be frustrated? That, we can’t possibly know. But I think being frustrated is generally not as good as NOT being frustrated, and that it is far better, mentally, emotionally, and physically, to try to be calm, happy, and in peace rather than being upset, frustrated, and sad. No?
And yes, it is definitely possible to control our emotions by altering our perspective. But that is something usually very difficult to do. It took me years to change my perspective on my family situation. Now, am I wrong for the way I deal with it? Am I supposed to be in pain from it my entire life? Did I end the pain too early? I can’t possibly know that, but I must say, it is easier to have faith in G-d and follow his commandments when I’m not in pain, and therefore, I think that whenever I can relieve myself of pain, I should. And that would apply to everyone else as well.