“But the (very normal) reality of the world is that these things cause difficulties.
If a girl doesn’t look good, that’s a nisayon – no different than if she would have any other physical condition. But there’s no excuse for someone in shidduchim not to try to look good.”
Logician, I understand your point. However, I don’t completely agree with it, if I am understanding it correctly. You say if a girl doesn’t look good, that’s a nisayon. Not really. If she is putting in effort, and happens to not look good, that isn’t a nisayon. For example, my parents are divorced. Is that a nisayon for my dating prospects? I used to think so, but it’s actually not. It’s a blessing, because it weeds out the ones that are turned off by it, thereby saving me time and energy for the ones that are okay with it. And looks are no different. Now, it could be I’m not understanding you fully, and that when you wrote “doesn’t look good”, you meant “not presentable”, and that is a different story, because that would be a lack of effort. But anything beyond our control is NOT a nisayon, it is a blessing, whether we see it that way or not.