Excellent point.
You know, I recently read a great article, and I am sorry I dont remember much about where or who wrote it, but it was about ‘finding’ one’s beshert.
The author asserted people confuse finding one’s beshert with a ‘list of things’ they want about the other person.
In short, the rabbi spoke about how couples evolve together and one’s beshert is not someone who necessarily comes “preinstalled” with all the things you would like. The main ingredient he suggested was if the two people feel comfortable together.
Even if they are nervous, but for the most part are having a pleasant time together, then that is what should be a sign to move to another date; and not if they have “this or that” or went to “this yeshiva or that yeshiva”.
While nothing like this is simple, the chemistry part seems to be way overlooked, and even thrown under the bus for the more surface things.