Logician, there are women out there who want to use their brains, not just schmooze with friends on the street or going to an exercise class. I didn’t get into all of the details otherwise my post my be a whole book. What’s the point of getting into the kishkes of my post, when we’re supposed to be trying to answer the OP’s question? The point was about a woman going out to work, so I was trying to give some examples of things I’ve heard of from other women who feel the desire to go to work for reasons that are not purely financially-driven.
More, I think you will feel guilty no matter on which side of the fence you stand. I do feel less awkward about spending $ on things since I’m making money, but what’s your husband like? Would he begrudge you those things or is it your conscience that’s bothering you? There is something about having lunch ready for kids when they come home. Can you put something in a crockpot and have it ready when they get home even if you’re not there? You could even get it set up the night before and start it on a timer in the middle of the night or whenever so it would be ready on time for them.
My opinion is that if working is important to you, then you should see if there are ways to solve the difficulties you have with that so that you won’t feel guilty – alternate meal plans – hot meal at night or crock pot idea, extra cleaning help to free up your time from this when you ARE home with them, a teenage girl to help with laundry, again to free up extra time. Hope these ideas help.