I’d like to ask you since you sound like a responsible parent: which do you think is generally the preferable option (ie what Hashem wants)- for a mother to work full-time and stash away some money, or for a mother to work part-time (sending children off in the morning, greeting them after school, holding baby more) and no extra money for stashing?
The preferable option is not necessarily the best option, but that’s how it is in life. B”H when we lived in the states my wife was able to work 3 1/2 days a week, and the entire family left together in the morning and we all came back together in the evening. Ask yourself this – if an emergency comes up, G-d forbid, is it fair to place a strain on the entire family? Money problems may be an “adult” problem, but any major problem places a strain on the entire family, including the kids.
What happens if the mechanic says “it’s dangerous to drive this car until the brakes get fixed.” Do you tell him you don’t have the money, and drive the car anyway?
Practically, does it make sense to invest money while in debt (student loans, mortgage)? You usually pay a higher interest rate on loans than you earn on savings.
I’m not talking about investing money, I’m talking about putting it aside in an emergency fund – just a regular savings account. Even a small amount helps, like $20 or $30 a week. This is an investment in having it available for whatever life throws at you. Think of it as tzedaka for yourself, for piece of mind.
It seems to me that we should only put away money if it doesn’t interfere with our present obligations.
The problem with this is that when one lives a yeshivish lifestyle, there are always “present obligations.” Tuition turns into weddings, weddings turn into supporting kids in kollel.
I don’t intend to sound harsh; as you said, I try to be a responsible parent and husband. Maybe I picked up some of this thinking from my dad, who was raised during the depression in the 1930s. I can remember as a kid in the 60s and 70s watching him bring home his cashed paycheck every two weeks, and putting the money into envelopes for certain things – gas and auto, insurance, savings, medical, etc. He always told me to make sure I had some funds put away for emergencies, and he was right.