sam2 – I think we get too caught up with the sources. Is there any way you can understand the ability to affect others with your bechirah ? Isn’t gefen right – why should it be different than anything else, where we understand that Hashem interferes with what goes on if He wants it otherwise ?
Rav Dessler deals with these sources, and explains how it can be so, and still make sense. (sorry, just don’t have time/patience to properly express his ideas)