Reply To: How much does it cost to support for a year?

Home Forums Shidduchim How much does it cost to support for a year? Reply To: How much does it cost to support for a year?

#853908
tahini
Member

No one I can see here is being disrespectful to the need and duty to study Torah.

What bothers me is the idea of someone supposedly imbued with the spirt of Torah and yiddishkeit who yet does not realise it is not actually very nice ( I am being polite) to look for a bride to support you. Is marriage a contract of convenience or a special holy relationship? Do not parents of daughters feel uncomfortable about a man seeking their daughter’s hand only once the financial details have been settled, it bothers me as I find it vulgar for young men to be taught to look for girls with money, that is the bottom line.

I thought learning Torah would give a young man values and dignity, not create someone seeking a partner for her support. As for young women happily giving support, of course once married one does all one can for Torah and the family, but who wants to be actually chosen for their capability to pay up?. Do people not realise how this devalues marriage and relationship, no doubt contributing to divorce and family break up.

Learning Torah is a gift and belongs indeed to all, no one is daring to contradict that, just saying working can be part of a Torah life too. Yissachar and Zevulun is a noble contract used to share wealth and learning, the current attitude being promoted leads to young women treated like meal tickets, and teaches young men a most unsavoury lesson