oomis- I really think youre living in a dream world. Do you know what will happen if you allow your kids kosher taaruvos? One day you will find out that theyve been doing everything else that you thought you were preventing behind your back, and they only started because of the ‘kosher’ exposure you allowed them. I’m not sure, but i’d say im closer to my teenage years then you are, and youre grossly under-informed. “
I certainly do know, having raised 5 frum kids, who are well-liked and admired for their middos tovos and dedication to Torah as well as to the Klal.
You give no credit to our kids for being brought up properly, and you worry that the first second they are in a mixed group (read: boys and girls in the same room) they will do terrible things. It is thinking like this that often causes many of our kids to rebel, because there are SO many strictures put on them, that they can’t stand the confinement. After being in Yeshivah all week, do people honestly believe that kids only want to go to yet more shiurim on Motzai Shabbos? (that’s the same thinking that sets up shiurim for young men and women to attend as Shidduch events). They have to be allowed to be healthy, normal kids, too who have some fun and burn off their energy in halachically acceptable ways. Socializing is a VERY important part of their emotional development and allows them the ability to relate to people in a healthy way.
Please do not presume to think how my kids act or acted behind my back. I a)trust my kids, because they have never given me a single reason not to b) I know where they are and with whom and c)their behavior is consistent with what I have always expected of them. It is davka because I am not close to my teen years any longer, that I am able to assess things from a less hysterical perspective than many people seem to be taking. The tighter you clench onto kids, the easier it is for them to slip away. There ought to be some measure of treating them as more adult-like, or they will never become fully independent, which is something we are seeing very much nowadays. You don’t have to agree with me (and clearly you don’t), but it is my observation over many decades, including the one in which I was a teenager myself.