Oomis, Feif, and anyone else who’s against Torah study.
There’s a big difference between one who must go to work, while being truly ????? Torah, and those of you with attitudes like “what’s he doing for the world anyway..”, “obligated to work at least half, presumably more..” etc. Again as I wrote, “where the wife consents”.. there is nothing greater. Obviously, it’s not for the wife your sticking up for, it’s the Torah learning you’re against. I’m truly sorry for having been brought up with Torah – true values. “
Whoa, don’t hold back, tell us what you really think! First of all, please do me the courtesy not to tell me I am against Torah study. Perhaps you did not actually read what I wrote, and if you did, you did not comprehend one word of it.
I believe with all my heart that a Jewish man has an obligation to learn Torah (if he is capable of same, not all men are) every single day, for some portion thereof. I also believe that if he is getting married, his primary obligation according to the kesubah, is to provide for his wife and family. It is not HER obligation or her parents’ obligation to do so. If and when they do, it is a chessed on their parts. But it is no chessed to force her to work twice as hard as need be in today’s two-income necessity per family, in order for her to pick up the slack her husband is leaving by not doing his fiscal share.
I have seen wives who were wearied and harried and bone-tired from trying to be all things to their husbands and families, while the husband sat all day in the Beis Medrash. THAT is not the Torah way, you can say it 1,000 times to the contrary, but that does not make it any more right than being a frum guy who sits in an OFFICE all day and night and makes NO time for learning, even if he IS providing everything his family could desire. Both are situations that leave something to be desired.
Not all women have the luxury of Bubby watching the children for them, either. More often than not, a non-Jewish, non English-speaking housekeeper is raising our precious children for the better part of the day, in lieu of the person who has been entrusted with their care. THAT’S what Hashem wants? Sorry, but I don’t buy it. It’s not enough to learn Torah. One must LIVE Torah.
There are a relative VERY few iluyim whose learning brings great zechuyos and light to the world. Unquestionably, these are people who should be doing nothing but learning, because they are our next generation of Gedolim and leaders. But every boy cannot be and is not an iluy, and most of them can manage to earn a living and learn as well, in the course of a day. They are more than comfortable however, in leaving that achrayus to their wives and shvers, and convincing themselves that they are doing it to “support the world” through their learning. It is THAT mentality which I personally find problematic. It causes that ubiquitous mindset of entitlements that has become pervasive in many of the full-time learning families. That is not an opposition to learning Torah. It is an opposition to using learning Torah as an excuse to avoid one’s responsibilities. “Im ein kemach, ein Torah.” I did not make that phrase up.