PBA. You dont know if it is the norm, do you? The situation faced by MANY girls is that they are waiting on a shadchan who is waiting on a boy.
The norm I was referring to is that girls do not wait for an answer before moving on. Since that is the norm (and I do know), there is no hostage situation. You may call off your swat team.
If you continue to call it a hostage situation, without disputing this basic point, it will be hard to take you seriously. (you may become like me)