DY
Reading your post I realise the merit in agreeing to disagree.
With regard to having Yeshivish children, one is never too old to learn from one’s kids.
As for a career in law/medicine being financially secure and allowing one to waive fees with more regularity than a shadchan, this had an element of truth but of course depends on what you choose to specialise in. |In the Uk we have a state funded health service, the salary of a doctor without private patients is nothing to write home about, nor a lawyer if integrity and fair play enter the equation. We specialise in cases and teaching where monetary profit is not king. We have a family rule : never turn a poor Jew in need away. Why ? Because we had family who were saved by good people who were generous with their own meagre portions.
I recognise difficult situations where shadchanim must make lengthy inquiries etc which are time consuming to undertake without payment, but to actively use money as outright incentive seems wrong, when money is an incentive there are many inherent dangers.
If Shadchanim were offered incentives in the way of reduced tutition fees / or free shul membership that would not be half as unsavoury as quoting large sums of dollars . It should be remembered few shadchanim rely on their matchmaking skills to pay the rent. If you fancy studying law or medicine it means years of study/training, and if you are a frum Jew that can mean entering graduate school post yeshiva/kollel as a mature student with young family in the background. Hence the need for marriages made with respect and dignity to see you through the good and the bad times.