Doswin: Exactly why I find it a disgrace that the attitudes have not changed. A wrong attitude leads to wrong actions. No? In fact, NASI may be starting a trend in the wrong direction that will further create and “shidduch crisis”.
A few leaders have spoken out, but I guess we will see what happens. Again, I am very embarrassed that our approach to building families has sunk to such a terrible level, which some may try to justify by saying that is what the boys want. When approaching such a critical area of Jewish life (marriage and family), an outlook like this kind of makes you wonder about the quality of learning and, more importantly, it’s effect on the individual.
In the long run, a boy who insists on age as the critical “character trait” is doing a favor to the older girl (and we are talking about a matter of a year) because such a view/decision right from the start, is the beginning of sharing a life with a boy/man who is exposed to the Holy Torah, and comes out the other end superficial. What’s going on?
To bring this to real terms: If you or I are offered to date someone the shadchen thinks is good for us and that girl happens to be 22, and we decline and say we are only interested in a 21 year old, then I have no respect for that at all.
And if us guys show so much lack of derech eretz for what the Shadchen suggests, to where we create a trend that results in imposing a thousand dollar charge on the girls, per year, to me, that is a huge chilul Hashem and not good for Klal Yisrael. NASI should not play into that as they may create a new, bad standard.