check out the sefer ??? ?? ???? for all the answers. some were written above.
1-torah im derech eretz means bBOTH together, not only the working part.
2-the rest of the mishna – that through both the person is saved from sin. nowadays, it’s safer to sit and learn in prder to be saved from sin. going out to work will only bring you closer to sin.
3-reb yishmael is correct that many have tried and were not matzliach. that’s why most of klal yisroel doesn’t learn. those who can are from the minute.
4-that that the gemara says that many have tried like r’ yishmael and were not succesful, the gemara also says “rubam begezel” does that mean we shoul all steal to be mekayem the gemara?
5-the wifes ONLY zchus is by helping her husband and children learn, those who don’t want to be “brainwashed” should not fight to get their children into these brainwashing scools. there are enough modern scools that would gladly accept your chidren.
Above all— do your kids a favor and don’t “brainwash” them. those who were not matzliach on their own should admit it and not bass it on and try to justify it to calm their concience.
kol tuv! have a great meaningful life!
mutche from israel