As my wife and I are both shadchanim, we have some experience in the “Parsha” its not a shidduch crisis, but rather a mental crisis.
@mom12 – you are saying good/correct thoughts, but in that world its MUCH easier said than done. For 18 years the boys/girls grow up in a world where unfortunately certain superficial items ARE the essence of life. Its not fair to ask of the kids dating to now think otherwise!
@scissors, I LOVE the Fiddler reference, but an even better Fiddler reference is the “Do you Love me” song. THAT should be required reading/listening for EVERY marriage in ANY circle!! Far to enough in any circle, people look for “sparks/love/romance”, etc which obviously is important but don’t really exist, nor can be defined. But you end up with people searching for something which is artificial.
And then you have the “frum” girl who is looking for a guy who doesn’t exist. Meaning she wants a guy who will learn, but work, but only work b/c he has to, but love learning, won’t watch TV, but will let her watch movies, that will make aliyah and be a Rebbe while she bakes challas all day.
Then you have those couples that date for 2-3 months and ONLY THEN realize that one of them doesn’t like the other’s personality! What were they doing for all this time?
I don’t claim to have any solutions other than to let people just be themselves (if possible) and teach them whats important and what isn’t. Parents do need some of the blame if their childrens’ Hashkafos and values are warped and fantasy like.
Hatzlacha to all those out there!